The Event: a bit of a non event?

Did anyone else watch "The Event" last week on Channel 4? It's a "new high-octane US thriller" which is being advertised as a cross between 24 and Lost. You can tell it's high-octane by the promotional pictures:

The cast's constipated, industrial-fan-blown faces and their weird faux running man arms clearly indicate that there is something of Great Import occuring. (And possibly in more than one direction given the way everyone is looking.)

But I couldn't help but feel massively underwhelmed by the whole thing. For one, it's not helped by its slightly wanky, nondescript title. Yes, I know its meant to inspire curiosity and an avid episode-devouring desire to find out just what the hell is going on, but it's difficult to dredge up enough energy to care when everything feels so reminiscent of its predecessors that there is precious little that is new or original to grab onto.

Let's see. We have the strong, honest, black president who's desperate to blow a Conspiracy wide open and generally Do The Right Thing; he in turn is antagonised by beady-eyed shifty-looking bald men in his office who are equally keen to keep things from him (hello 24). Then there's a plane full of people which is about to crash but then disappears and ends up crashing into a location quite different to and a ways away from where it was meant to. There is also a focus on introducing individual characters and filling in their backstory bit by bit with disjointed flashback sequences (hello Lost).

You have this man who looks disconcertingly like Ethan Hawke:

This woman (she was in E.R.), the leader of a group of people locked away in a Guantanamo-Bay-like secret facility in Alaska, who reminds me of Battlestar Galactica's Laura Roslin:

And Ethan Hawke's girlfriend, who sort of reminds me of the pregnant Australian girl in Lost:

The font used to introduce said characters and flashbacks looks extremely like the 24 font. It may even be the same one. The intros float up and out towards the viewer with intention. But 24 had cinematic visual flair, a breakneck pace and Kiefer fucking Sutherland. I'll always remember how my heart used to go at the split screens, Jack Bauer growling 'dammit!' and the infernal CLOCK! As for Lost, I never really got into it, but from what little I've seen the characters seemed to be one of the biggest draws, and of course that, intertwined with the mysteries of The Island made for one compelling little package.

Perhaps I'm being unfair to The Event by continually comparing it to other things, but when it so noticeably invites the comparisons its hard not to. I just wish it did a bit more to differentiate itself.

Ad Watch

Sometimes I watch TV. It's not often, but it's usually on a Friday evening while I'm slumped on the sofa, after a week's worth of work has rendered me into a slathering, monosyllabic husk, yearning for the sweet, welcome embrace of oblivion. In short: thinking bad, TV good.

And sometimes, in the 5 minutes or so between Friends or whatever it is I have on whilst I wait for the oven to heat up, an advert will catch my eye.

Or, in this particular case, quite literally, it is the eyes which will catch me. Confused? You will be.

The latest Vision Express ads are, frankly, terrifying. Maybe this is just me, but personally I find suddenly being confronted by a mass of people with GIANT EYES FOR HEADS somewhat unsettling. What is even more unsettling is how they move, creating a weird, almost hypnotic undulating motion as they turn their heads - I'm sorry I mean GIANT EYES, did I mention that already? - one way, then the other, with sharp, military-like precision.

As if this isn't surreal enough, the movements of the giant eye head people are accompanied by what sounds like marching, which suggests that this crazed brutal eye army, which looks like it is made up of Lord Sauron's satanic underlings, is coming for you, yes YOU, and there will be nowhere to hide because their GIANT EYES see everything!

To top it all off, there is a voiceover of a woman, plain and unremarkable enough, but it is free of any emotional inflection. No hint of nudge-wink jollity or reassurance to entice the customer, no no, that would be too boring, too conventional. 'Visit Vision Express today, or book an eye test online at VisionExpress.com,' she says in that expressionless monotone, but as I cower and sink further down into the depths of the sofa, I find myself thinking, '...or what???'

See for yourself, and tell me if you think I'm being an absolute fruitloop:

Eye Swiveling
Watch the ad...

http://www.visit4info.com/advert/Eye-Swiveling-Vision-Express-Opticians/83525